Black Beauty and White Beauty In A White Male World

This is a strange topic for me to write on as a black female because I have to be objective and subjective simultaneously.

It seems the subject of black women is popular again on the heel of Super Bowl ads, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and John Mayer’s answer to the question of whether black women throw themselves at him in the March issue of Playboy magazine:

I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.

Many are angry that Mayer “might” have suggested he’s not sexually attracted to black women. Of course, others countered with the “preference” argument. He has a right to his preference, which he does, but what many are peeved about is the slight to the self-esteem of black females.

The black female’s self-esteem has been taking a beating in a society, run by/for [mostly] WASP males, who are seemingly indifferent to, if not downright disgusted with black females. John Mayer, born and raised in Connecticut, the epicentre of privileged white Anglo-Saxon life (even if he is part Jewish), expressed a “truth” that is indicative of the white male sentiment toward black females.

I have long referenced frat boy comedies such as The Hangover and anything made by Judd Apatow to prove the point that in the eyes of many white males, particularly, North American white males, a black female is either invisible or a mammy (fat, asexual, loud, aggressive, repulsive). This ‘opinion’ hasn’t changed and may never change, due to the social dominance of people of European descent.

Whether John Mayer has never found a black female attractive or may never date a black female is not determined by this article, which I feel has been misunderstood grossly by the public. (I don’t think he’s racist; just a douchebag.) Sadly, however, I have had the eye-opening experience of cruising the blogosphere to get an insight into what others (non-blacks) think about black women and their “beauty.” I can honestly say it is not good. Many do describe black women as fat, ugly, simian-like and disgusting, which they cite as reasons for their romantic rejection of them.

There are exceptions to every rule, and there are many white and other non-black males who are open to honest relationships with black females, and find them genuinely attractive. However, as rule, it appears white and non-white males, perhaps culturally influenced by the media or likely due to sheer personal preference, do not find black women sexually or aesthetically appealing.

Whatever the case, there is a difference between expressing a preference for females who resemble you and nastily ranting against black women, calling them unnecessary names, comparing their looks to apes, and suggesting they’re disgusting.

Sadly, John Mayer’s comment is tame in comparison to some of the things I have read in the blogosphere and heard in real life. Blame it on white entitlement or the belief that they (whites) are entitled to say and do whatever they please, regardless of who they offend; or even, the blatant disrespect and dehumanizing of blacks, and particularly black women by a society that is programmed to ignore their feelings because they don’t fit the white female standard of beauty, best exemplified by Paris Hilton or playboy bunnies; it’s the opposite of black female standard of beauty, which leans toward Beyonce or actress Gabrielle Union (pictured above beside model Joanna Krupa, a fixture in white male magazines). In such a society, a black female as beautiful as Gabrielle Union doesn’t stand a chance.


About TCDH

Blogger with an opinion.
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One Response to Black Beauty and White Beauty In A White Male World

  1. Zaire Y says:


    It is hard to “face the music” so to speak when it comes to this because I am black and female. Although the reality isnt pretty, I think it is more advantageous for black women to KNOW how others perceive us, rather than walk around with rose-colored glasses.

    I think I have said something similar at Abagond's at best the average non-black man is indifferent to BW at worst we are Mammies, Sapphires and Jezebels.

    The one thing I dont like however, is black women playing into the victomolgy game. I admit I have done it before but its much better to do what you can to enrich your personal life than mope about why women who look like you(general you) arent seen as the most attractive.

    Complaining about stuff like that is a symptom of being at the bottom of the racial hierarchy. If black women(and black people) want to see an end to this type of thing we need to stop playing by the rules. We need to stop accepting societal leftovers. we need to ignore the John Mayers and Don Imus' of the world. Imus and Mayer knew what they were doing when they made those statements. They knew for a fact that blacks would do a collective, public freak out that would secure PR.

    By collectivity voicing frustration about white men that find black women unattractive we confirm that we care about those white men. When black women stop responding to those outrageous comments emotionally it will burst the bubble of those men.

    On the internet and in real life, many people have made sport of disrespecting black people/women because they KNOW we will take the bait. I know Im guilty of it. Instead of voicing their opinions civilly many men will come out and say “black women are the ugliest” “they look like men” ect to get a rise out of us. Part of it comes from the fact that they do find BW unattractive but a lot of it is just trolling. Pissing us off is half the fun

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